Mastadon, Hex Error and Cathartic Bad Behavior
Last night, which began like all others more or less innocently and responsible, was quickly thwarted by an accomplice of mine who introduced me to Sake Bombs. I am indebted to my accomplice (thanks cat bell !) for this. Not only did I have a truly enlightened, relaxed and bitchin’ time, but I tried a new drink, and it’s all about trying new drinks. Isn’t it? Now for the uninitiated I will explain the legend of zen simplicity that is the sake bomb…it goes like this…
A zen student begged his master for months for the key to enlightenment. The master tried various techniques with the student, from riddles and poems to cryptic logics but everything failed as the student was daft as driftwood. Eventully the student gave up and the master did too until one day he got an idea…
Seeing a frothy golden beer on the table of a quaint room in geisha house the old man was struck by its visage. For days he wondered why. He didn’t drink but a small amount of Sake each night before bed. Then it occurred to him in one flash on a bright spring morning, the floral air gushing from the gardens below his room. He called for the student at once. The student came at his call, obsequiously, like a dog feeling guilty of his behavior. The master asked him to fetch a beer at once. The student looked puzzled but complied. When he returned to the room the master was sitting at the floor, with a ceramic jar of sake on the table.
“Sit.” He ordered the student.
The student sat down and put the beer on the table.
The master poured a ceramic cup of sake and dropped it into the beer. The golden nectar flowed like a river. The student gave a surprised look and the master met his eyes.
“Sake Bomb.”
The student looked more puzzled.
“Drink the Sake Bomb.”
The student complied and at once it was as if a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and his mind grew fuzzy and his heart warm.
The master asked his student seriously:
“Once again, if a dog barks at a blind man, who is the buddha in the golden robe?”
The student thought for a mere moment and replied:
“Who gives a shit?”
The master smiled.
And that sums up the ancient story of the sake bomb.
Sake bombs led to the local which led to the star bar where primordial metal bands played and burly dudes with tattoos and large biceps nodded in enlightened approvement.