Ash Yesterday
Funny thing about Ash Wednesday…
After a really bad day at work, consisting of bitter corporate email wars between people who have never met yet hate each other’s fucking guts with a passion unheard of, I crashed my goddamn new-old Mercedes on Monroe. Same road I totalled my Civic on 4 years ago. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck me.
Then later I’m at Publix and see this Granny with a queer ass black smudge-cross on her forehead, smiling all nicey nicey while she buys her sausage and Maalox to bring home to her gay marriage bashing husband. Being your average man under stress not privy to religious rituals, I don’t really know what to think…after all, it’s already been a really fucked day, and I have no context. But I can’t help but process it, in that subterranean behind the scenes way, coming to the conclusion that she most certainly must have seen “The Passion,” and that the forehead cross smudge must be some sort of cultural reaction in praise of Mel’s Jesus, and her adoration for His Sacrifice. Whatever. I don’t even buy a lotto ticket, it’s not my day.
Later on, at the phenomenally psychedelic Jackie O’Motherfucker show at eyedrum, I see another chick with the same stigmata smudge. Instantly I think my theory must be correct, but I lose her in the Merlot/PBR line before I can confirm. Finally I realize talking to Omar that it’s motherfucking Ash Wednesday. Damn, I was starting to think that perhaps King Diamond was making a comeback.
February 26th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Son of a … Sorry about the car. Guess I’ll get the details later. I’m assuming no damage was done to the actual MANunderstress?
February 26th, 2004 at 8:48 am
As a catholic schoolboy grades 1 through 6, then again for 11th and 12th I’ve worn that smudge many a time. But I’ve gotten so out of touch since my excommunication (you actually get a letter from the pope that says “You’re fucked jack-ass! God hates you. Hope you enjoy wallowing in a state of unforgiven venal sin. Can you feel the heat, boyeee? See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya- Worst wishes, Il Papa”), I’ve seen people in public with the smudge and almost mentioned ‘you’ve got something on your forehead’ before catching myself, doubly embarrassing for one who IS familar with the in’s and out’s of the cult….I mean church. Pass the dead carpenter wafers, lemme get a hit of that magic blood-
Sucks about the car! How bad is the damage? At least you haven’t sold the old one yet…
Mel’s movie is such hype! I keep arguing with my parent’s about it “Why would I want to see that? I already know the story…” Church groups are buying up entire theatres for viewing. They refuse to recognize “true believer” is a marketing niche under utilized before now. A.O. Scott’s NYTimes review accused the violence of going to the shock value level. I heard the sequal is gonna somehow tie in Big J saving America.
February 26th, 2004 at 11:30 am
king diamond’s contribution to new grohl project “probot” not bad, but pales in comparison to mike dean’s evil metal screamage.