It’s getting to be that time of year again, when people get a little fatter, a little drunker and buy a bunch of shit. Well, some people won’t stand for a society of programmed consumer zombies and plan to throw a wrench in the corporate works by programming those consumer zombies not to consume. Yes, November 25th is that un-shining non-star of culture jammer anti-holidays, Buy Nothing Day.

Now, you, the consuming or non-consuming zombie, could sit back and do what the global economy wants you to do (consume) or mindlessly follow the “culture jammers” existential brand of anarchy and “buy nothing,” but why be a follower of something that’s been done before, a pawn in the recurring battle between two boring ideologies, when you can be a follower of my new Super Cool ideology? This year I declare November 26th, Buy Everything And Then Burn It Day. Got it? On November 26th, buy everything that you can afford, everything you didn’t buy on November 25th, liquefying all of your personal assets to do so, and then proceed to have a giant fucking party, where you destroy everything you can, and burn everything left over at end of the night. Man, will this be fun. And just think: you will delight the economy, jam the jammers, and pollute the environment and confuse the hell out of everyone. No one will know what to make of it. The next day you’ll wake up hungover and be like, “dude, what the hell happened?” Your roommate will answer, “dude, that was the best Buy Everything and then Burn It Day, ever!” Let’s make this dream a reality.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 18th, 2005 at 1:33 pm and is filed under general, politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.