America: Less Retarded

Tuesday night I went to a bar, and anxiously awaited election results, glued to the Idiot Box, at once afraid and hopeful for my country. Ok, maybe I just got drunk and talked to girls. But somehow it became apparent that the Democrats had unexpectedly won some serious battles. Indeed! And we should be happy for that, right? Well, being a loyal advocate of neither, I can’t say that I was elated that the Dems won, but it did indeed feel good that the GOP had been ass-blasted out of the stadium. This is a sporting event after all, and that is most clear on election nights, when we huddle by the TV with our like minded peers, rooting for change. Any more options than two and we get confused. It’s the mentality of a sports addicted nation. How could more than two teams play the game???

A friend of mine who was the brain behind Atlanta’s Kerry/Edwards Bikini Car Wash of 2004, sent out an email voting guide that didn’t even mention the Libertarians running. When I pointed that out, suggesting that perhaps a real change for this country would involve thinking outside of the dual party box, she said, “yeah, but I like to win.” Point taken. It’s unrealistic to think that voting Libertarian will actually elect a Libertarian, but it has been shown to have an effect, however subtle. Another friend of mine explained that at least now America looks “less retarded.” Point taken again. If Republicans were re-elected after all the scandal, gay pedophilia, hateful religious moralizing, betrayal of true conservativism, undeniable foreign policy failure and botched war, we would indeed look super retarded. I was sort of bracing for the worst, to be honest.

The world isn’t ready for you yet, Libertarians. But who knows, after Obama is elected president, the sky could be the limit for a new America.