Feb 27, 2009
Parker: A Nice Human Being
I’m a big fan of online chat vs. telephone when it comes to dealing with account shit. Here I try and get the bank to drop some overdrafts, having some good fun with it. This dude was hilarious.
Parker: After reviewing your account, I see that your account was assessed with the overdraft fee correctly and no banking error occured.
You: true, there were several overdrafts. i am asking that perhaps you can find a soft spot in your heart and remove some of them since I am a long standing customer.
Parker: Your satisfaction is of highest priority for me. I am trying my best to help you resolve this issue.
You: thanks. i made a mistake and i am sorry for it.
Parker: I will give you my honest best efforts realizing your situation and considering your valued relationship with us.
Parker: I understand you, however it is my job to trust my system and allow a refund only for a banking error, however as a human it is also my responsibility to help you.
Parker: After reviewing your account history and valued relationship with Bank of America, I am able to refund $70.00 as Courtesy.
You: thanks for being a human and helping the humans over the machines.
Parker: I seriously imagined myself in your place and trusted you, also I expect you would place yourself in my place and realize that it’s not easy to make a refund if the bank does not authorize it.
You: your empathy is outstanding. it is true, refunds must be difficult, since the banks made some bad bets and certainly need all the
money they can get.
Parker: Yes, and I found you a very nice human being Charles.
Parker: Also, I expect you would not overdraw your account in future.
You: but i am confident that our government will bail them out with taxpayer money and save us all
You: i will not make this mistake again. i have learned my lesson, Parker. already i am punished for it.
Parker: Definitely! We all would be happy and back where we were 2 years ago.
Parker: I have submitted the request for the fee refund and the same you will be able to view under the pending section, once you refresh your account.
Parker: I hope I was quick?
You: thanks. you were great. the best ever. faster than a machine.
Parker: You’re welcome. I was happy to help you.
Parker: Have a great day ahead. I am sure it is going to be bright day for you and I hope it gets brighter for you everyday.
Parker: Thank you for being a wonderful customer and giving me an opportunity to assist you. I hope I again get a chance to assist you in future!
This is wonderful, and quite similiar to my last experience with a Bank of America eployee that took place this past Tuesday night. Except I told the man on the phone to “go fuck himself” after he told me, with no emotion in his voice, that Bank of America was allowed to close my account without telling me. He wouldn’t even waive a final overdraft fee after I told him that “I hope his failing bank fucking failed some more.”