Parker: A Nice Human Being

I’m a big fan of online chat vs. telephone when it comes to dealing with account shit. Here I try and get the bank to drop some overdrafts, having some good fun with it. This dude was hilarious.

Parker: After reviewing your account, I see that your account was assessed with the overdraft fee correctly and no banking error occured.
You: true, there were several overdrafts. i am asking that perhaps you can find a soft spot in your heart and remove some of them since I am a long standing customer.
Parker: Your satisfaction is of highest priority for me. I am trying my best to help you resolve this issue.
You: thanks. i made a mistake and i am sorry for it.
Parker: I will give you my honest best efforts realizing your situation and considering your valued relationship with us.
Parker: I understand you, however it is my job to trust my system and allow a refund only for a banking error, however as a human it is also my responsibility to help you.
Parker: After reviewing your account history and valued relationship with Bank of America, I am able to refund $70.00 as Courtesy.
You: thanks for being a human and helping the humans over the machines.
Parker: I seriously imagined myself in your place and trusted you, also I expect you would place yourself in my place and realize that it’s not easy to make a refund if the bank does not authorize it.
You: your empathy is outstanding. it is true, refunds must be difficult, since the banks made some bad bets and certainly need all the
money they can get.
Parker: Yes, and I found you a very nice human being Charles.
Parker: Also, I expect you would not overdraw your account in future.
You: but i am confident that our government will bail them out with taxpayer money and save us all
You: i will not make this mistake again. i have learned my lesson, Parker. already i am punished for it.
Parker: Definitely! We all would be happy and back where we were 2 years ago.
Parker: I have submitted the request for the fee refund and the same you will be able to view under the pending section, once you refresh your account.
Parker: I hope I was quick?
You: thanks. you were great. the best ever. faster than a machine.
Parker: You’re welcome. I was happy to help you.
Parker: Have a great day ahead. I am sure it is going to be bright day for you and I hope it gets brighter for you everyday.
Parker: Thank you for being a wonderful customer and giving me an opportunity to assist you. I hope I again get a chance to assist you in future :-)!