manunderstress.com

I’m a big fan of online chat vs. telephone when it comes to dealing with account shit. Here I try and get the bank to drop some overdrafts, having some good fun with it. This dude was hilarious.

Parker: After reviewing your account, I see that your account was assessed with the overdraft fee correctly and no banking error occured.
You: true, there were several overdrafts. i am asking that perhaps you can find a soft spot in your heart and remove some of them since I am a long standing customer.
Parker: Your satisfaction is of highest priority for me. I am trying my best to help you resolve this issue.
You: thanks. i made a mistake and i am sorry for it.
Parker: I will give you my honest best efforts realizing your situation and considering your valued relationship with us.
Parker: I understand you, however it is my job to trust my system and allow a refund only for a banking error, however as a human it is also my responsibility to help you.
Parker: After reviewing your account history and valued relationship with Bank of America, I am able to refund $70.00 as Courtesy.
You: thanks for being a human and helping the humans over the machines.
Parker: I seriously imagined myself in your place and trusted you, also I expect you would place yourself in my place and realize that it’s not easy to make a refund if the bank does not authorize it.
You: your empathy is outstanding. it is true, refunds must be difficult, since the banks made some bad bets and certainly need all the
money they can get.
Parker: Yes, and I found you a very nice human being Charles.
Parker: Also, I expect you would not overdraw your account in future.
You: but i am confident that our government will bail them out with taxpayer money and save us all
You: i will not make this mistake again. i have learned my lesson, Parker. already i am punished for it.
Parker: Definitely! We all would be happy and back where we were 2 years ago.
Parker: I have submitted the request for the fee refund and the same you will be able to view under the pending section, once you refresh your account.
Parker: I hope I was quick?
You: thanks. you were great. the best ever. faster than a machine.
Parker: You’re welcome. I was happy to help you.
Parker: Have a great day ahead. I am sure it is going to be bright day for you and I hope it gets brighter for you everyday.
Parker: Thank you for being a wonderful customer and giving me an opportunity to assist you. I hope I again get a chance to assist you in future !

My latest waste of time obsession is creating ecards on someecards.com. I had no idea that you could design your own. Good fun.

A recent comment spam I thought I should share. I confess to being very intrigued.

She neck sings, “Let’s configuration a flick case in point blocking, infant,” on the Rockwilder-produced run to mum , although don’t chronometer a Kelis sex pickle to hit the Internet anytime soon. “It’s ably-wishing of like a misunderstanding CD,” the chorister said recently. “It’s place of wide being nothing but congenial with yourself in establish, which is an top-spread out up till ambition, markedly in the corporation we’re in.

So good…

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON